Fresh. Almost three weeks. Freedom. I have only shed a tear once, and as soon as I was finished, the feeling of depression was followed by a feeling of enlightenment and hope. Do not underestimate my love, because my love for you will always lie in my heart. The difference is that now I will not let that love control my life or my actions. I no longer place it in the center of my focus.
What I want more than anything is to know who I am and what I want. My confession is that I do not know who I am a an individual. I do not know what I want. I am trying so hard to figure it out. When I look at the world, I don’t really feel like I want anything that it has to offer. People don’t normally impress me, nor does anything that this world has to offer. Call me pessimistic, and maybe I am. Maybe I just need to look at the world through a different lens.
My goal is this: to exist as a clear headed individual who knows exactly what I want, and know exactly who I am. I know I will get there, though I don’t even know how to get to that path. Lately, I am just floating through life. I haven’t made any progress lately. I only live with the faith that one day I will have it figured out.